Dec. 5th
At first I wasn't sad about moving and a couple of my kids were annoyed by it. It's because I know I'll see everyone again and I said that in my testimony in front of my church congregation on Sunday. But, then we had the Christmas party and as I looked around at everyone, I realized that my time here was over, and it hit me. Im going to miss it here. The people, and my house. I've planted every tree in my yard. All the flowers and strawberry plants. Everything. I've mowed the lawn a million times. I know this is just a house, but it's been our home. My last 4 babies came home to our house, and this past week I had to go into everyone's rooms and paint over their name. It was sad.
People you grew up with and laughed with are gone. Some people are horrible about keeping in touch. A couple of our birthmoms have moved on, and that's fine, but a part of me wants them to stay. Especially for my kids sake. People change. People grow. People leave and you leave. Life happens and sometimes I even forget for awhile. Sometimes it's easier and a lot less painful. It's sad. Some people won't forgive and they let precious years fly by and you can't make anyone do what you want. Sometimes, I wish I could gather everyone that I love and have loved into a room and not let them leave for while until I feel full again. Full from every single person. Missing people is hard. It never goes away. I know I'll meet great new people in TN, but until I see the people I've learned with here, in Utah, and friends that have touched my life in ways they don't even realize, people who have served my children and loved them and taught them things I can't, until I see these people again, I'll miss them.
Mostly, I guess I'm just really thankful. So thankful for all the people in my life. People who don't think they are in my life, but they are to me, and have lifted me in ways only they could. I love my family. I love my kids. I love Pete. I love my brothers and sis in laws and it has been so fun living close to them. I've loved our date nights and watching the cousins play together, and laughing so hard until I can't breathe! I've loved living here in Utah. It's where I needed to be to get my last kids. The beauty I've seen everyday from those tall mountains, I won't forget. The thunder during the rainstorms and the neighborhood night games! I miss you already Farm Lane Circle.
P.S. Pete, I'm not slipping away.
